That’s What She Said

Friends don't let friends speak crappily.

I was at an art group meeting on Monday.  That in itself was a rare thing, as I have been avoiding the meetings in general over the past three years.  However, one member recently lost her husband and has become housebound due to her own illness, and since we were meeting at her home, I chose to attend.

We did our usual sharing of our work and updates on what we were doing professionally (many of us have had sales of our work, and I had just turned in a project for another book).  It was all fairly light and fluffy, usual fare, but then our friend shared her journal with us, and how much harder the past month had become for her.  Before we knew it, we were all passing the Kleenex.  It was like that cemetery scene in “Steel Magnolias” , except no one was there to tell us to “Hit Ouiser”. 

When we all were able to catch our breath, my friend said “You need to enjoy what you have today, because you just don’t know what will happen tomorrow.”  (She said this in part because not only has she had issues in her own life, but another member had a major house fire, and my husband has been unemployed for three years, and another member had a heart attack earlier this year).

And whether she intended it or not, I heard the unspoken “Because tomorrow you could be hit by catastrophe.”

Which is why I had been avoiding the meetings in general for the past three years.  It was easier for me to avoid the meetings all together than to stand up and say “Well, tomorrow could bring something great as well, couldn’t it?”  (Which, no, I did not say in that room on Monday, but I did say it in my head; and now I am saying it here).  Or to say “I believe we can sell our work and make a living at it” or “No, actually these hats are for galleries, not to keep my family warm, but thank you for thinking of them.”

I let my friends speak crappily.  It bothered me, and I vaguely knew why, but today this came through my inbox, and helped me put a finger to it.  I will have more to say in a future post, but for now let me close with this post from Christine Kane, who really sums it up:

Watch Your Language: 7 Tips for Big Results
by Christine Kane

A few years ago, I was in a car with the promoter of one of my performances. He had picked me up at the airport and was driving me to my hotel. On the way, we talked guitars. We got onto the subject of Olson Guitars, arguably the best guitar in the whole world. At one point, the promoter said, "Yea, well, in my entire life I'll never own an Olson guitar."
There was a time when I'd let a remark like this slide on by, even adding my own "me either" to the mix.
Now, I can't. Yoda steps into my head and says, (in his Yoda voice) "So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done."
So, I turned to the promoter and said, "You are NOT allowed to say that!"
This is because I know the power of language. When you know that words become things, it's hard to let language slide.
I can't help it. I have a rule:
Friends don't let friends speak crappily.
Language is powerful. Words can create reality. Even if my promoter friend doesn't know how on earth he'd ever get his guitar, it doesn't mean he should cut off the possibility with his own words.
If you're wondering how to begin watching your words, here are 7 practical language principles for becoming a better creator of your life.
1 - Eliminate "never" and "always."
Never and always are words of hysteria. "I always mess everything up!" "I'll never figure this out!" "I'll never get an Olson Guitar."
First off, it's not true. If you always messed everything up, you wouldn't have made it out of the womb.
And second off, extreme words are designed to hook you. It's just your emotions taking a joyride. You're more powerful than that.
2 - Use AND instead of BUT.
"But" dismisses the statement before it. "And" includes it. For instance, "That's a good article, but it needs some editing" isn't nearly as encouraging as "That's a good article, AND it needs some editing."
"I love you, but…" is another great example of the dismissive power of "but."
3 - Avoid "Should."
Should is a heinous word for many reasons. It is victim-speak. It disempowers its object. It negates desires, thereby making it harder to make choices. It adds a nebulous energy to the decision making process. Use empowered language instead: "I could…" "I would…" "I am choosing to," "I would like to," "I don't want to," or "You might consider…"

4 - Stop calling yourself depressed.
Also stop allowing anyone to tell you that you are depressed. When you call yourself "depressed" or "obsessive compulsive" or "ADHD" or whatever - you're claiming this thing. You're calling it forth with the most powerful two words in our language: "I am." That creates very little option for the transformation of this condition.
5 - Delete the word "hate" from your vocabulary.
"Hate" has lots of energy. When you use it, you send lots of energy out into the very thing you "hate." Even if it's negative energy, it's still a powerful force, adding its charge to that thing. You're also depleting this energy from your own spirit as you say it.
6 - Be "great." Or "wonderful."
A disease of the creative temperament is a belief that we must be authentic at all costs. So we can't answer a simple "How are you?" without delving into an in-depth scan of our emotional temperature.
Try this instead: When people ask you how you're doing, just say, "I'm great!"
I used to think if I said this, then I better have a good reason for saying it, like I just won the lottery or something. I thought it would make me look suspicious, and people would start to wonder if something was wrong with me. But then I did it. And you know what? Most people don't care why you're great. You're saying it for you.
7 - Pay attention to the music of your speech.
You know how some people? They talk in question marks? And you have no idea why? But it makes you think you shouldn't really rely on them? And it makes you not want to hire them?
The music of your language says a lot about you. If you let your sentences droop like Eeyore, ("Thanks for noticing me.") or if you do the uncertain question mark language, take note of what attitudes are causing this. These patterns are created for a reason. Even if it feels like faking it at first, generate confidence as you speak.

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Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with more than 8,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.

WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?
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Wishcasting Wednesday

Every Wednesday, Jamie Ridler asks "what do you wish?" This week's theme is "What do you wish to embrace?"

This is only the second time I have answered her question on my blog, not because the questions are not intriguing, nor because I don't have any wishes, but primarily because I always feel like "What if I choose the wrong thing?"

This week, the answer came immediately. I wish to embrace uncertainty. I have been running from uncertainty for over three years, and it turned into a long range marathon in December of 2006. I am stopping now, and turning to face uncertainty, embrace her and welcome her into my life. Because, really, no matter how certain we think we are about our future plans, what we are going to do tomorrow, even today, that certainty can be swept away at a moment's notice. Life happens, jobs are lost, people get sick. Good things can happen unexpectedly as well. It's all part of the uncertainty.

So this week, my wish is to embrace uncertainty, and to enjoy the journey.

Painting, A Love Story

When I was a kid, my dad would draw the most goofy drawings on our bills before mailing them.  He painted larger versions of them on cars, making a “Dart Bird” on our neighbor’s black Dodge Dart, and decorating my uncle’s panel van when they drove down from Minnesota to visit one summer (when you have eight children in the family there weren’t a lot of choices of vehicle back then; mini-vans hadn’t been invented yet).

When I was five, he taught me how to draw a hot-dog horse (using the shape of a hot dog to draw a horse) and when I was eleven, he took me to the real art supply store (Lewis Art Supply on Woodward Avenue) and bought me a real sketchbook and a set of Buffalo markers.

I drew, and drew, and drew some more, filling that sketchbook and many more after that.  I loved the control that drawing gave me.  It was also neat and portable.  Painting seemed to be something scary and different, at least the kind done with the Grumbacher tube colors.  I also remember my grandfather asking when I was going to start painting, and giving me my first quart of linseed oil in a green and white checkerboard tin, even though I had absolutely no clue where to even begin to use it.

When I was seventeen, I received a set of acrylics for my birthday, and played with them some.  There wasn’t the control I had with my drawing, and my attempt to recreate a photograph of luminous purple grapes fell flat.  It was the time of budget cuts and jobs moving to Mexico and there weren’t art programs in my school, and my dad was lucky to still be working the afternoon shift as Shop Steward in his job as a metal patternmaker.  I had to learn it all on my own, and I gave up and returned to my beloved pencil.

Over the years, I kept dancing with the idea of painting.  I loved the idea of being able to sweep my arm and create a line of color that followed my motion.  I also loved the photo-realism of Audrey Flack and Ralph Goings .  I’d buy paints and canvases, and play a little, but then put them away, distracted by life and fear.

Recently I began painting again, inspired by the work of Lynda Barry.  I gave myself permission to play, permission to make mistakes, permission to take time to learn.  I have been having a blast.

I posted some of the paintings earlier this year, from my journal.  Some have gone on to my Etsy shop, and now I am also painting on canvas.

Just Dessert, 2009  6” x 8” 

Harvest, 2009, 6” x 8”

Mom Mom’s Kitchen, 2009, 12” x 9”

Each piece started with a blank pre-stretched canvas.  I made color photocopies of either images of my work, or of old family photos, and collaged them to the base using matte medium.  This gave a nice under painting, and adds to the content of the work when the image ghosts through the top layers.  I drew on the canvas using my trusty India ink, and once that was dry, I painted the image using acrylic paints (a mix of brands I’ve collected over the years, but I am trying to move to Golden brand as I need to replace paint).  Then I coat them with a layer of matte medium and two coats of varnish to seal. 

Having the foundation of images already in place made the blank canvas a little less intimidating.  It also helped the subsequent layers have a depth of color.  I like the way the lines of each individual copy can still be seen in the finished work, giving it a quilt-like texture that I miss in traditional painting.  Right now working this way is the perfect melding of the control of drawing and the looseness of painting, feeding both those needs in my soul.

Next up, paintings without foundation images!

Do You Know the Way To San Jose?

The San Jose Museum of Quilts and Textiles is hosting its “High Fiber Under Five” exhibit and sale, starting tomorrow and running through November 8th.  This is an excellent opportunity to acquire works of art from many well-known fiber artists for $500 or less per piece.  Whether you are just starting to collect art, or are looking to add to your collection, this show promises something for everyone.

I chose to send pieces based on my drawing experiments of this summer, as well as the piece which is based on my photo from the banner above.  Here is a sneak preview:

Garden Party II, approximately 16” x 20”, available starting tomorrow for $450 This piece includes my hand-dyed and hand-painted twill, fabrics from the Stonehenge collection by Northcott fabrics, as well as machine cording.

African Masks I, 9” x 6”, but sewn to a 10” x 8” canvas, as are the other three pieces in the African Masks series.  This one includes shibori from Debb and Michael Lunn, and commercial cottons.  I collaborated with my son on this piece, he created the original drawing on which the quilt is based.  This piece, and the other three pieces in the series, are available for $150 each.

African Masks II, commercial cottons, machine quilting.

African Masks III, silk suiting fabric and commercial cottons.

Unfortunately I was running right up to the deadline to finish African Masks IV, so do not have an image of it.  It is red cotton on a base of golden yellow silk dupioni, also machine quilted.

I really enjoyed making these pieces and can see making more small pieces as studies for larger works.  I am grateful to the SJMQ&T for inviting me to submit work for this show, it provided me an opportunity to try something new, and for a good cause.  (All proceeds above the artist’s commission goes to help fund the museum and its programs.)

If you are interested in acquiring one of these works of art, you may call the San Jose Museum of Quilts and Textiles at 408.971.0323 x14 after the sale starts on November 3.

Taking the Leap

Like many artists, I keep a journal/sketchbook.  I started this practice in earnest nearly 15 years ago, when, tired of buying a new sketchbook only to end up giving it to my children to draw in, I decided to keep the sketchbook no matter what.  I gave myself permission to make the “worst junk in the world” as Natalie Goldberg said.  I didn’t judge what I put in the book, I didn’t tear pages out, and until recently I didn’t go back into old pages to rework them or cover up stuff I decided was too personal for possible public consumption. 

My journal has been idea generator, confidant, and catch-all over the years.  I put it aside three years ago after the tumultuous spring, summer, and fall of surgeries, job losses and meltdowns.  I missed it, a lot.  I kept trying to come back to it, because I knew that working in such a safe space would help me heal from all the trauma my family and I had been through.

Finally I found the wonderful book The Creative Entrepreneur, by Lisa Sonora Beam, and by chance she was offering a summer special on her online journal workshops.  I signed up for the PowerFULL Magical Visual Journal workshop, found a wonderful book at a local art supply, and I was off.  Over the course of the past three months I worked that book until it was full, and in the process I was creating more work than I have created in a very long time, having the time of my life, and making work that I wanted to share with the world.

Selling completed art journals is probably possible, but not something I want to do at the moment, and I loved some of the work so much that I wanted to take it “offline” as it were and make some free-standing work.  The watercolors I posted last month inspired some such paintings, and now I have also expanded the repertoire to work on canvas. 

Untitled, in process.  The background is a collage of color copies of a photo I took.  I then painted the image on using India ink, and after that dried, I went back in with acrylics.  The faces on the underlying photo aren’t as obvious in person, I was surprised and pleased when they popped out in the photo.  I think the canvas size is 10” x 20” but I am not positive.

Here I am auditioning the piece with a separate snail I made by sewing unryu paper and painted paper to a Pellon base and then trimming.  I wasn’t sure that I wanted to put him (her?) on, but after seeing the photos I think that I will attach this snail to the piece. 

This piece is made in the same manner, but I used copies of an old family photo as the base.  One thing I’m learning in this process is that it is easier to “read” the ink drawing if the base image is color instead of black and white.  The lines tend to get lost in the darker areas of the photo on a black and white image.  It is on a canvas that measures 6” x 8”.

Izzy also got into the act and has been painting also.  We are planning at Etsy update, first tomorrow for some watercolors, then around October 15 with sculptures.

Scary new territory, but fun, especially when you have such an enthusiastic studio mate working by your side.  I already have the next two pieces planned, and am looking forward to heading back to Blick for some larger canvases.

Excellent Opportunity

One of the members in my SAQA region called me last Thursday with a request.  Ellen Anne Eddy creates marvelous embroidered imagery and is teaching a workshop in Carmel, Indiana, November 2-5.  Spaces are still available if you are in the area.  I have admired Ellen’s work for years, and the techniques taught in her first book Thread Magic, helped me create my Picky Butterfly piece for The Artful Storybook.

You can view the brochure at the Embroiderers’ Guild website .  More information on the class will be up soon at Ellen’s site where you can also see images of her beautiful work.

Stu-Stu-Studio

It seems like September has only begun and here it is September 16th already.  I have been working on several deadlines, one of which is the upcoming High Fiber show at the San Jose Museum of Quilts & Textiles.  No work will be over $500, and I am planning on sending 6 pieces.  The piece above is one of them, based on the photo I took at the Franklin Park Conservatory.  You can see the actual photo in my blog banner.

I started the piece by cutting some Pellon to approximately 16” x 20” and freehand drawing the log, the spiral and the leaf onto it.  I then appliqued the parts onto a piece of hand-dyed fabric I made over the summer.  The tree is made from the Northcott stone collection, as is the spiral.  The leaf is composed of African brocade and twill that I painted with Setacolour paints.  The splotchy effect on that fabric was made by sprinkling kosher salt onto the piece while it was still wet.

I did freemotion zigzag over satin cording for the vines in the background, and made zigzag cording with strips of hand-dyed fabric for the vines in the foreground.  I also used freemotion zigzag to add details to the log and the leaves.  The background was just random freemotion quilting, I am not an old hand at the “stipple” look yet.

Here is a detail of the log, with a better view of the bark details and the machine quilting.  I am really pleased with how this piece turned out, and excited to begin the next to last piece, which will be three dimensional waterlilies on another piece of hand-dyed twill.  But first I have to finish Garden Party I (the green water towers from August) for the local Women in Appalachia show deadline.

When it rains, it pours.